Parenting Concepts (Part 4) - A journey to remember
Every time I look at each of our four children and now, as I ponder about our fifth, who is letting me know of her presence in me every now and again, I’m amazed and touched by how much they’ve grown into their own persons. Each with very distinctive personalities, interests, habits and demeanour, I feel that I’m one of the most blessed mothers on earth! I imagine (and hope) every mother feels the same way!
The main reason I’m writing this is to first and foremost remind myself and perhaps other mothers that we are blessed with the power to make the best life choice at the start; by breastfeeding our child/children. One of the most wonderful aspect of having my children has been, and will continue to be, InshaAllah, the breastfeeding journey we share(d). I had always wanted to exclusively breastfeed my children, even before I knew I was having my first born.
By the time I became pregnant with my first, I was in my most “gung-ho” spirit towards breastfeeding. Internet and books became my best friends in finding resources about breastfeeding. Although there wasn’t much “external” support, I knew I could count on hubby, both our parents and like-minded friends for that. Little did I know that working mums tend to not always get the support we need, especially if we intend to exclusively breastfeed our child for at least up to 6 months, what more beyond that! However, I was adamant to the point of being stubborn about my decision and yes, despite the many challenges, did what I had to do to reach my goal. Alhamdulillah, I even went beyond that when I managed to not only exclusively breastfeed my eldest whilst holding a fulltime 9-5 job, I managed to go on to “tandem nursing” my first born and my second. And they thrived!!! All the name-calling, the put-downs, the discouragement and the look of disbelief I used to get during these times are the least of the things I remember.
The multiple losses we had through the years became reminders of how each and every one of us will face challenges in life. Yes, the family struggled at times with these challenges but as time went by, we learned to cope. Everyone has built-in coping mechanisms. It is again our life choice to pick ourselves up after each challenge has knocked us down. We must believe that every challenge comes with a lesson to be learned…a ”hikmah”.
With our 3rd we felt extremely blessed again, a healthy boy after 3 losses. His attachment to me became my joy and his dad’s and big sisters’ devotion and care became my strength. Then came our wonderful surprise of Muhammad, our precious preemie, who in the beginning, was only given a 50-50 chance to survive. Our family went through all the motions imaginable associated with a difficult pregnancy, the day-to-day prayers and hope, the eventual C-Section delivery, the NICU and extended hospital stay and all the challenges that came with bringing home and caring for a premature child.
Muhammad too, went through countless days of pain and trauma. From the time in the womb with all the difficulties, the early days in the incubator, the intubation (ventilator), the probes, the tubes, the monitors, the surgery, wounds and scars…he has gone through more than any of my other children have gone through in his 1st few months of life! Allah is great! Now he is thriving too! And the one good and right choice I know I had made was to start providing expressed breastmilk to him, although at that time the pain of not having seen him or hold him and the pain of post-surgery were overwhelming!
Nowadays, mothers are extremely lucky. Not only are equipment and resources more readily available and are at more affordable prices, support and information are also more in tune with mothers’ needs. From Lactation Counselors to Mother Support Groups, Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiatives, Rooming-in options, Breastfeeding-Friendly Childcare centres, parenting, breastfeeding and ante-natal classes, journals, parenting magazines and breastfeeding advocates among healthcare providers are all wonderful efforts by different quarters all concerned with breastfeeding.
I do not wish to provide here, within my write-up, any statistical information or facts to support breastfeeding. The medical community and the internet would be more reliable and more purposeful for that. My only wish is to remind myself and others that we as parents are in the best possible position to ensure that our child/children begin their lives with the most natural and most nurturing aspect of care…breastfeeding.
I’ve always felt that breastfeeding was the most natural thing Allah has provided for mothers, apart from childbirth itself. The process, the instinctive nature of babies in relation to the breast and all that is related to breastmilk production in itself is a gift from Allah. For me, it has been a source of nutrition and nurturing for my children, a form of bonding and binding, comfort and warmth and the most gratifying sense of being available to and for my children on demand. I am truly looking forward to embrace the rest of my breastfeeding journey with our next child and will most certainly always look back in awe at Allah’s gift. And of course, countless thank yous to darling hubby and my whole family, immediate and extended, as well as to my wonderful friends for their constant support!
I’m hopeful that beyond my own experiences, I will be able to share this joyful feeling with other mothers and perhaps beyond my own journey, support others in theirs. Let us share these knowledge and experiences through the many avenues available to us. One day I hope to fulfill my dream of becoming a full-fledged lactation counselor and reach out to more mothers out there, InshaAllah. Let us reach out together and save more lives!
Many stories have been swapped and many experiences have been shared and I am certain a lot of mothers have their own breastfeeding journey with each child they have. This makes breastfeeding a time to remember and a journey to cherish. To Mothers out there, breastfeeding your child is the best start you can give your child. To other ladies/mums/hubbies and the community, support the mothers around you should they wish to breastfeed. Not only are you giving the mothers the support they need, you are giving the child the nutrition and care that they truly deserve…“Breast is best”!
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